Unwilling
by calyope
Summary: A very childish and smug Lothiriel hopes to prove to her father that she can have her way. Her plans go awry and instead she is faced with a new unwilling husband , ready to have his way with her.
1. Chapter 1

Introduction

I do not own the characters.

This story is a bit different from the typical Eomer – Lothiriel stories. For those of you who love them, I hope you will not be offended by their very rocky start , they will go towards a better relationship but it is a rather violent and unbecoming beginning for both of them. Feel free to review and thank you for taking the time to read this.


	2. A Terrible Temper

Lothiriel had come to Rohan like she would on a pleasure ride. The fact that all the lords of Middle Earth were gathering here to celebrate victory over Mordor made those few days the most important event in history. She didn't really believe her father when he had told her that it was also going to be the most important event in her personal history as he would now select a husband for her. It would be fun, she thought, to see men bend over backwards just to win her hand but she would obviously refuse them all. Hard as Imrahil tried, he did not manage to get through to his young daughter. He wanted to be reasonable and ask her opinion a about what kind of man she would want to spend her life with. She just smiled and insisted she did not want to marry at all, ever.

Now a fortnight hadn't passed since those playful discussions that made her giggle with pride as her father grew angrier and angrier and she was already married. Not betrothed, not promised, already somebody's wife. Lothiriel's smile was gone and she was staring out of the window trying to make sense of what had just happened during the day. She knew she had the main fault in the entire unfolding of events and she thought herself a very reasonable and logical person. Her goal had been to prove to her father that she has a will of her own and she will not marry whoever he chose for her. Prince Imrahil had proved to be more cunning than her; he had given her the choice. She was to pick whom she wanted to marry out of all the lords of Middle Earth that were present. She knew she represented a prize – her dowry was rather considerable and an alliance with Gondor was sought by each and every other kingdom. Faced with a hall full of suitors watching her she was forced to choose a husband; she really did not want to marry so she did the only thing that seemed sensible to her at the moment: she picked the one man she was sure couldn't care less of her dowry or her; she had seen him constantly following a blond lady of his country around and almost call another suitor of hers to a duel. Definitely he will not agree to the marriage and she would have the pleasure of returning to Ithilien unwed and with the satisfaction of winning the most important battle with her father.

Indeed when she had uttered her decision the man she picked almost fell down even though he was a very well-built warrior. The blonde lady however seemed very happy to hear it so Lothiriel guessed she did not return his affections at all. When he walked towards her his frown was so deep that she took a few steps back. She didn't think she had ever seen anybody so angry in her entire life and understood how humans won the war against the forces of evil. He seemed a force … a big evil one. The moment he went on one knee before her accepting her offer and pledging to honor and protect her all became blurry and she almost fainted but he caught her while falling and whispered in her ear with a very cold voice :

"You will regret this decision for the rest of your life, my Queen, I will make sure of it ".

She sensed so much hate in his words that she was immediately alert and on her feet. It was all a bad dream. Trying to make sense in her mind of what was happening she didn't even realize that Gandalf was in front of both them performing the marriage ceremony. Lothiriel didn't dare look at the man standing very close to her holding her hand. She didn't see any of the people around her and all she wanted was for the whole thing to end so she could go to her chambers and think. Now she had been in her chambers for almost an hour, she had been thinking all that time but still could make no sense. All this could not be real. It was too horrible if it actually was.

The door opened and Eomer came in. He looked fiercer than ever. She was terrified of him and could not understand how anyone could have allowed him into her room. It was most improper without a chaperon.

"What are you doing here?" she asked in a very offended tone.

He didn't answer but went to her, grabbed her arm and dragged her to the big bed in the middle of the room. She then caught a glimpse of the beautiful nightgown that was prepared for her on the bed and some of the maid's words came back to her mind: "pray he'll be gentle", "do not resist him, it will only hurt more" … Oh no, he couldn't possibly have come to claim her body. She tried to release herself from his touch but he was holding her with an iron fist. When she stopped wiggling he ordered her to undress. She didn't move so he took hold of her chin and making her look at him repeated:

"If you do not want me to rip your beautiful dress, take it off yourself. Now."

Lothiriel was paralyzed with fright. She wanted to scream for help but when she opened her mouth no sounds would come out. He was looking at her with a smug expression.

"Heeelp!" she got out eventually but it was only heard as a whisper.  
"What do you need help with?" he asked "taking off your dress?"

Fear was replaced by utter hatred in her eyes.

"You will not rape me! "She said her voice stronger and looking straight into his eyes.

He let out a laugh.

"Of course I will not rape you, that are impossible since you are now my willing, obedient wife. Now strip before I lose all my patience with you. "

"No!' she spat back at him. She had no idea the fabric of her dress could tear so easily. He literally had her garment in two distinct pieces on the floor in what seemed only a moment. Now she was wearing only her thin slip. He tore that one as well and left her all naked before him. She wished she could die right that moment and be spared the embarrassment.

"At least your body is appealing. I can warm my bed with you." he said and started removing his own clothes.

She was still and tears rolled down her face. Eomer suddenly realized he would have to get this over with or he will never be able to do it with her crying and shaking as she did. He turned her with her back to him and made her bend over the bed. She instinctively found support on her arms and he forced her legs apart with his knee. Lothiriel was tiny and he knew he would hurt her badly. She deserved it. She was spoilt, obnoxious and she had just forced him to marry her. This was his retaliation. He positioned himself at her entrance bending his knees a little because he was a lot taller than she was. The warrior's heart was racing. It was like one of those moments when he was looking into the enemy's eyes right before running his spear through his flesh. He hoped she would scream the whole time. He wanted to fully humiliate her. His first thrust was violent and swift but as violent was her body's resistance so all he managed to do was hit his very hardened manhood against her mound. They both shrieked in pain and when he let go of her Lothiriel collapsed on her knees on the floor in a puddle. She had lost all control of her body and did something she hadn't done she was a baby– she wet herself.

Eomer was also in throbbing pain but the moment he had let go of his wife it was as if a fog was lifted from his eyes. What had he done ? Surely he had all the right reasons to be angry with her but to want to do that to her when she was obviously helpless was abominable. The only people he had ever seen as afraid as to release themselves were in front of an executioner. He had managed to make this woman as scared of him as she would be of getting her head chopped of. The rush of the warrior was gone and now he was very ashamed of himself. True, she had wronged him but never had he used physical force on a woman … especially when bedding her. She was so young and so small…he thanked the Valar that he stopped lest he should have surely broken her in two like he had done her garments. He had already acted like a mindless brute, now it was time to be a man so he gathered himself and decided that what was done was done and now he should do what he could to fix it. He picked up his breeches and put them on then got some towels from a rack and went over to the bed. He took her arm and gently picked her up. She didn't resist him. She was just sobbing uncontrollably and avoiding his gaze.

"Lothiriel…" he started

"Please kill me." she said simply

"I am sorry, Lothiriel. I acted like a brute."

"Please … I know you hate me, just kill me. Spare me the humiliation."

She was still not looking at him. He took her chin in his hand and lifted her face. The anger was gone from his eyes and he looked almost human.

"Lothiriel, I am truly sorry. I acted in the most despicable way possible and I have no excuse for it. But we are now both in a very unfortunate situation and I need your help to get out of it."

"Are you going to claim I was not a virgin and annul the marriage? I won't argue …"

"No, I can't do that. That would bring shame on you and your family and though I admit I don't much care for you at the moment, I hold your brothers and father in the greatest esteem. Plus, it would be a lie since you obviously are a maiden. "

"But you didn't get to … "

"No, thank the Valar for that or it would have been even worse for you. I was out of my mind with rage. But now I am calm and we need to get the witnesses off our backs so we can have some quiet and figure things out.

"Witnesses?"

"Yes, there are people outside the door who will have to verify the consummation of our union."

"Oh…" she instinctively reached for her core and then it dawned on her that she was still naked before him and her thies were still wet. She felt helpless and again wished she would die.

"Kill me."

"I can understand why right now you would prefer death to my bed and I am truly sorry for that but I promise you , when we do get around to completing our unexpected union I will do my best to make it good for you. However, it will not be tonight so we need to do something I resent deeply: pretend."

" How?" she asked trying to cover herself with her hands.

" You clean this up and I will take care of the rest."

"May I get dressed?"

"Yes, but put only your nightgown on."

When she finished washing up first the puddle, then herself she turned to see him holding a small knife. She went pale when she understood what he was going to do but thought about it and really she could see no other solution. He removed the covers from the bed and motioned her to get in. She went over without a word and climbed in.

"Please lift your gown" he said sitting next to her. When she saw the knife coming towards her she just turned her head and resolved to be brave.

"I know it is uncomfortable.' He whispered in her ear and she felt the palm of his hand in between her legs. She instinctively tried to pull away but he gently held her shoulder. She felt the warm moisture of his blood in his hand.

"You didn't cut me." She said.

He looked at her surprised.

"You thought I would cut your…?"

"Yes…"

"And you just came to me anyway? You are very brave." He smiled at her and she felt more comfortable than she had since he had entered the room.

"After I acted like a toddler I wouldn't say so."

"That was my fault entirely. I am ashamed of my behavior; it was horrible and completely undignified. Please forgive me for acting like a creature of Mordor."

"You must really hate me for what I did today."

He removed his hand and smeared some of his blood on her thies as well then motioned her to lie on her back.

"Why in Bema's name did you want to become my wife Lothiriel?"

"I didn't. "She replied simply

"Then why did you choose me? You had a room full of very eager lords. You could have had any of them."

"I thought you were the only one who would actually refuse me."

"Why did you think that?"

"You obviously don't stand me and I have seen you constantly chasing that blonde. But in my defense, I really don't think she wanted you."

"What?! I have not been chasing anybody around. The last thing I want on my mind right now are women."

"Then why did you nearly ask Faramir to a duel?"

Eomer started to laugh heartily.

"Because he is chasing my sister! That blonde is my little sister, Lothiriel."

"Oh… so you don't have any other lover?"

"Other than who? Eowyn is my sister and I obviously do not love you."

Lothiriel's cheeks turned red.

"Well, I will not stand in the way if you want to have a lover…or more."

Eomer frowned and he was again starting to look dangerous.

"I will stand in the way if you want to have a lover or more. Lothiriel, you do understand you are as of today _Queen_ of Rohan, don't you?"

" Oh, but I wouldn't … I never want to …" she stopped realizing that what she was about to say was not something her new and temporarily understanding husband would want to hear.

"It is a bit late not to want to. You married me and I swore to be faithful to you so trust me when I tell you, you will warm my bed and bear my children."

Lothriel panicked again so he felt the need to reassure her.

"I will leave you alone tonight. Not completely alone since we do have to share a bed but I promise not to touch you. Now get up so we can present the sheet and go to the washroom, your lady in waiting must be very eager to see you. Do admit to her that there was some pain but do not let her call the healer or he will know. "

She did as he said, frightened he might change his resolve to let her be at least for the night.


	3. A Failed Escape

Meanwhile in the Golden Hall everybody was celebrating. Well, everybody except Ephir, Lothiriel's older brother. He was furious and had it not been for Aragorn and Gandalf who stopped him, he would have made his way to the royal chambers to rescue his sister.

"We are just celebrating victory and peace; I will not have you start another war." Aragorn said to the young Prince of Dol Amroth.

"Why are you so upset?" Gandalf asked. "It was your sister who wanted to marry Eomer."

"She didn't want to marry him, she wanted to prove a point to father. She was sure he would refuse to wed her."

"How would she figure that? Rohan is now in a very bad state and the dowry of Lothiriel will ensure they make it through the winter. Eomer could not afford to be so selfish as to not agree to the marriage. Not to mention it would have been offensive to Imrahil and Gondor. "Gandalf said.

"She didn't think it through. And now she is locked in the room with that…"  
"With that man who you fought by, Ephir. You trusted him in battle with your life, why do you not trust him with Lothiriel?" Aragorn asked.

"Battle is different. He can kill four orcs with one arm. I'm not sure that is the skill that qualifies him to bed my sister."

Aragorn laughed: "I am rather sure Eomer knows the difference between a woman and an orc and he has enough skill to qualify him for husband duties."

Ephir did not seem amused.

"She is … clueless in the matter."

"She has her husband to teach her." Gandalf said.

"I don't know that her husband is that patient. And he did not look very happy to be wed to her."

"Eomer will have more sense than to antagonize his wife on their wedding night." The wizard continued.

"I don't know that Lothi has enough sense not to antagonize him." Was Ephir's reply.

"This union was meant to be, Ephir. I knew that before the war was over. Eomer refused to court Lothiriel when we mentioned it but she chose him without even knowing there had been talk of that. Their journey is not without trouble but they will have to learn to love each other because an heir of Rohan will only be born out of a union of love." Gandalf said and Aragorn could not help but smile and jest:

"Trying over and over to conceive an heir is not the least pleasant way of falling in love."

Right then the witnesses entered the hall and declared that there was proof of the Queen's virtue and the consummation of the marriage. All cheered and continued their drinking but the young prince felt like the world had just crumbled under him. Now there was no turning back. Aragorn saw how miserable he felt and putting his arm around him said:

"Eomer has a young sister too and he is a good man. There is no need for you to worry. Lothiriel is his wife and Queen of Rohan and she could not be safer anywhere on Middle Earth."

….

Back in the chamber however, Lothiriel did not feel safe. She was closely watching her husband tending to the fire and wondered what his plan was. He could feel her eyes following him wherever he went and it made him uncomfortable.

"If there is something you want to know, just ask." He said eventually.

"I want to know what your plan is with me."

"What would you want it to be?"

"I would like to go home."

"You are home."

"I mean to Dol Amroth . I want to go back."

"I'm afraid that became impossible when you picked me for your husband. I can't leave Rohan and neither can you. "

"I will not stay here!"

He was looking at her with amusement. He could see that she hadn't yet completely taken in the situation.

"You will do exactly what I tell you."

"I will certainly not!"

"Lothiriel, if you think about it, I have all the advantages in this so crossing me is not really to your benefit."

"Oh? And what advantages would those be?"

He came over to her and sat on the bed. She immediately straightened and pulled the blankets up.

"You are at my court, among my people, you do not speak the language and you do not know the customs. Your family will be off tomorrow and all you will have is me. I am also not terrified of our bed.'

Lothiriel swallowed. The thought of being alone in this country with this man was bad enough. The prospect of sharing the bed with him was even worse.

"You will not make me!"

"Lothiriel, stop with the "you will not" statements or I might just prove to you that I will if I want to."

"You w…"

He turned to her with raised eyebrows and it dawned on her that he had a point. Aggravating him would not be to her benefit.

"I am tired now. I think I shall sleep, if that is something you will let me do." She said and he felt that she was up to something. He decided to play along and see just what it was.

"All right, we will go to bed. Tomorrow will be a full day of farewells."

He blew out the candles and got under the covers and with a short "good night" placed a soft kiss on his wife's cheek.

She was still sitting, resting her back on the head of the bed and the kiss completely surprised her. She very slowly slid down and put her head on the pillow.

"I'm not a sleeping dragon, you can move freely "he said and she was so startled that she released a little cry.

"I'm not used to …anybody in my bed."

"Well, get used to it." And with that he turned his back to her and went to sleep. She listened to his even breath until she was sure he was asleep. Then she very quietly got out of bed and looked for her dress. The light from the fire helped her find the garment but soon she realized it was in two pieces and could not possible wear it. As for shoes, all she had were her ballroom slippers and those would make a lot of noise and were unfit for sneaking. He moved a little bit and she got so scared that she just made for the door and ran out barefoot and in her nightgown. The hall was really dark and she had no idea if she had to go left or right. It was also very cold and she started to shake.

She stood there for what seemed to be an eternity completely lost. She could not figure out what to do. Running away was out of the question. If it was this cold in the halls, she could only imagine how it must have felt outside. Going back in the room was something that scared her even more.

Suddenly there was a light on the corridor. Somebody was coming and the young Queen's heart nearly stopped. Then she recognized the figure of her brother and felt saved.

"What are you doing here?" he asked in an agitated whisper.

"You have to help me, Ephir. Thank the gods you are here."

"What happened?"

"I need to get away from here. I can't be married to Eomer, I just can't."

"But you are wed to him Lothiriel. There is not turning back now. The marriage has been consummated."

"No, it hasn't, I'm … I'm not married."

"But … the witnesses said you are."

"I know. We tricked them."

"Why? I mean … why did you not …?"

"Well, it is complicated. It really hurt and he decided we'll wait a little. But that's not important, let's run. "

"Lothiriel, we can't run out of Edoras. You can go to the end of Middle Earth, you will still be Eomer's wife and he will find you. "

"I don't think he will look for me, he wants me gone."

"If he wants you gone, how come you are trying to sneak away barefoot and in your nightgown?"

"Ephir, just help me, please. I need to get away before he gets to … before he gets me."

"Lothiriel, I know you did not want to marry him and I spent this whole night thinking of ways to rescue you but now I am starting to think it is your husband who needs to be rescued."

"How dare you?!"

"Hear me and hear me good: out of a childish whim, you managed to become the wife of one of the best men on this good earth. I feared he would hurt you for forcing him to marry you but now I see he hasn't."

"But…"

"No, you listen now. Not only he did not hurt you, he waved his marital right of the wedding night to spare you. Nobody is to know that, Lothiriel, lest you, him and our entire family will be disgraced. Making up a lie about such a thing is no small matter and if he did that for you he minds you a lot more than you deserve right now."

"He did hurt me, Ephir! And he humiliated me!"

"Did he hit you?"

"No! But he made me undress."

"It was your wedding night; he should not have had to make you…"

"And when I didn't he just ripped my dress into pieces and he looked at me naked and made comments about that."

Ephir could not help smiling to himself. His fears that his sister was in any danger were now completely put to rest and he just thought it was funny how in her lack of knowledge she blew everything out of proportion.

"And did he say something terribly offensive?"

"Yes, he said he can warm his bed with me."

Tears were rolling down her face.

"Look, maybe he rushed you a bit. I do not think he is used to virgin reluctant princesses. Knowing your husband he probably also apologized."

Lothiriel nodded.

"Did you apologize?"

"What for?!"

"For making him wed you and then denying him the one thing that could have sweetened that."

"I will never!"

"You need to revisit your phrasing. I do not believe this attitude will get you far with your husband."

"I do not have a husband! And I shall not have one!"

"You are Queen of Rohan, wife of Eomer and future mother of his heirs. Now live up the part, go back in there and ask the King to forgive you for this escape attempt which , by the way, is also a serious crime if actually committed and be the best wife you can be lest he should hurt you and for good reason."

"No, Ephir, I 'm begging you, get me out of here before he wakes up!"

"If you think he did not notice you going out of the room and he does not know you are outside the door whispering you are utterly mistaking. You do not slip by him if he does not let you."

"But … well…, you see, he did not stop me."

"He didn't have to. You can't really get anywhere dressed like that. I think you are freezing, you should go back in."

"Please help me." She was now crying uncontrollably.

"Lothi, you will be ok. He is a reasonable person if you talk to him nicely. Just don't challenge him like you do father. This was your own making, now you have to live with it. If it will be a good life or a rotten one, it is completely up to you. "

"He will kill me, Ephir!"

"He needs you to have and raise his children, Lothi. I promise he will be fair to you."

"No!"

She said in a loud voice and started running down the hall. At that point the door opened and Eomer went after her. He did not need to run because her feet were cold and she did not move very fast. He let her get out of the door of Meduseld and down the stairs but caught up with he when she was trying to make for the North Gate.

"This stupidity of yours has gone far enough. You will catch your death out here." He said picking her up in his arms and climbing up the stairs."

She wanted to fight but he was warm and she really felt frozen.

"Then let me die."

"I'm too young to be a widower."


	4. Making it Worse

Back in the room Eomer set her on the bed and went to put another log on the fire.

"Get under the covers." He said but she did not move so he went over and basically threw her on the mattress and pulled the blankets over her.

"Give me your nightgown."

Still, she did not move.

"I will not ask you again."

He was furious, she could see that and she wanted to do as he said but was so terrified that she could not get her hands to move.

Eomer reached for her, set on turning yet another piece of her clothing into pieces but felt her shaking and stopped.

"Look at me." He commanded and she turned his eyes to him. "I will not hurt you but I need your promise that you do not leave this room until I came back."

"I have no place to go."

"I know you don't but I also do not want you to make another spectacle of yourself running around Meduseld."

"I will stay. "

"All right, I'll trust you but the gods will not be able to save you if you disobey me again."

He left the room and she did think about running but then realized he had horses, men and knowledge of Edoras. He also had clothes and shoes and those were all things she was lacking. She resolved she would have to last till morning without him bedding her then go talk to her father. She would ask him to forgive her for being so foolish and plead to him for undoing the marriage. The plan gave her courage and when Eomer returned with two young men carrying buckets of water she was not shaking anymore. She looked smugly to him as he pulled a large basin and filled it with water. The other men left and he locked the door behind them.

"Come here and get in. You need to warm up; you were in the cold for too long."

"I'm fine."

"You make me repeat myself and I hate that."

"I do not want a bath."

"I do not care what you want; get in the water before it gets cold."

"No."

She was awfully calm and little as he knew of her he realized she was again up to something. Out of all the women on Middle Earth he had to get this stubborn, childish and rather stupid one. He could not do anything about her age or her intelligence but he did resolve to break her will so he just scooped her off the bed and took her to the tub. The water was hot and when he lowered her and her feet touched it she screamed:

"It burns!"

"It is hot but it will not burn you."

"You want to boil me." She spat at him

"It will only warm you up; I promise you it does not burn once you are in. It just seems that way because you've been in the cold."

"Help!" she shouted and that really made him angry. He wanted to drop her in the water but she clung to his neck so only her bottom and her feet were in the water. He lowered her more thus getting his own arms wet.

"Please…" she whimpered.

"Let go!" he shouted and she was so startled that she did just that, landing in the water and splashing him all over. At first the hot water made her lose her breath but then the warmth enfolded her and felt rather good. She leaned back and rested her head on the end of the wooden tub. He went over and pulled her hair back, letting it hang on the outside. The thin nightgown had become transparent and left nothing of her body to the imagination. Eomer felt something stir in his breeches and instantly changed his resolve of letting her be that night. When he thought she must have soaked enough he extended an arm to her and helped her out, allowing her privacy to take off her wet gown and cover herself in the big linen towel. Then he gave her a big goblet of wine. She took only a sip but he motioned her to drink so she emptied it. He filled it again and she obediently drank it all.

"Come; get in bed before you get cold again."

"I have nothing to wear."

"Just get under the blankets and I will put another log on the fire. It will be warm enough."

She didn't like the idea but was starting to feel rather dizzy and needed to sit down so she jumped in bed, pulled the blankets and threw her towels on the floor. He looked at how red her cheeks had become and guessed she was already slightly drunk. Still, he gave her another glass of wine and after that one was gone decided she was probably inebriated enough that she would easily give into him so he climbed in bed. She did not protest.

"I do not think we should share a bed." She said very calmly.

"Why not?"

"Because we will not be married tomorrow."

"How come?"

"I'll tell my father I am sorry and he will take me back to Dol Amroth."

"I see. Why do you want to go back?"

"I belong there. I can't be married. Not to you. "

"Is there somebody else you should be married to?" He asked and though he hadn't wanted her, the thought that she might prefer somebody else made him angry.

"No. But you are the last person, you don't like me."

"Do you want me to like you?"

"It doesn't matter. I am not your wife."

"And if you were?"

"Then I think you should at least like me if not love me."

"Do you like me, Lothiriel?"

She started to giggle.

This, he did not expect. He wanted her to loosen up so she would be easily seduced but did not think she would be so chatty.

"Lothiriel, do you like me?"

"You are terribly handsome. But I am scared of you."

"You needn't be, Lothiriel. I have been a brute but I promise you to never act like that towards you again."

"I make you mad."

"Wouldn't you be mad if I tried to run away from you?"

She laughed.

"You don't need to run away from me, I can't really do anything to you."

"You did make me wed you and now I am stuck with you forever. I wouldn't call that nothing"

"I didn't mean to make you marry me. I really didn't want to."

"Yes, I understand that but you did nonetheless. Lothiriel, have you ever kissed anybody?" he changed the course of the conversation to better fit his purpose.

"No!"

"May I kiss you?" he asked getting vey close to her.

Her cheeks became more flushed but she did not pull back so he leaned over and whispered to her: "I promise to be good to you."

"You will only kiss me, right?"

"Yes, now I will only kiss you."

"You promise?"

He bit his lower lip.

"I promise I will not do anything you want me to do."

"All right then." She said and closed her eyes while making her lips in a pout.

He moved over her balancing his weight on his arms and leaned in to touch her lips with his. At first he only gentle pecked her cute pout , then slowly pulled her upper , then her lower lip, making her part them just a little. She obviously had not done this before and though she did not fight him and slightly pushed her head up to receive his kiss her participation ended there.

"Open your mouth." He whispered and she flung her eyelids open, looking at him in disbelief. He was so close to her it was starting to make her uncomfortable.

"Please…" he purred and she indulged him without thinking about it anymore. It felt funny to have his tongue invade her mouth but not bad. She actually found it pleasing and tried to raise herself more to meet him but being drunk fell back down on the pillows. Instinctively she wrapped her arms around his neck to pull herself back up and that gave him a very good look at her round breasts. By now he wanted her badly and the thought of having her in his bed every night became rather appealing.

To her disappointment, he didn't kiss her lips anymore but started trailing small kisses down her neck until he reached her bosom. At that point, in all her dizziness, Lothiriel had an intuition about where this was going and pushed his head away.

"Yes?" he looked at her with a smile.

"What are you doing?"

"I am kissing you. Don't you like it?"

He was so casual about it that it gave her the immediate feeling it was all right so she pushed her chest up.

"Yes, Milady." He said and immediately took her right nipple in her mouth.

She giggled and entwined her fingers in his golden hair. He had already been holding back for some time and decided it was time to finally have her so his fingers caressed her thigh and reached for her by now very wet womanhood. Lothiriel opened for him on instinct and he slid one finger inside her.

"Aaaaaaau!" she screamed.

"Shhhh." He tried to pacify her, not pulling out.

"It hurts!" she whined.

"Only for a little bit." He said, not being convinced of that himself because if it one finger hurt her, it could only get worse later on. Trying to take her mind off it he gently rubbed his thumb over her mound but that made her jump and scream again.

"Please don't, it hurts." She was crying by now and he knew that the bruise from their earlier encounter was to blame. Still, he did not want to give up as he felt he was going to explode if he did not have her.

"Loti, just bare it a little bit, I promise you it will be better."

She looked at him in disbelief but he kissed her gently and she relaxed.

He fondled with his breeches until he managed to get them off and throw them on the floor, and then positioned himself at her entrance. She opened more to accommodate him and fought back the tears. She was too dizzy to think and felt completely powerless. Then it was as if he had run a blade through her flesh. The pain was so sharp that she opened her mouth to scream but no sound came out. He was watching her closely, determined to finish what he had started yet concerned not to hurt her too much.

"Eomer … please. It hurts so badly. Please…"

"He knew how pain looked like and it was painted all over her face. Not even his entire tip was in, he had barely touched her."

"I can't, Eomer. You promised…" she said, tears rolling down her face.

That did it. He was raping her for the second time in one night. He rolled off her and got out of bed, more frustrated than he had ever remembered to be.

She was sobbing softly and suddenly heard her whisper: "thank you".

To say that he felt like the worst man in Middle Earth was an understatement. First he had roughed her up and hurt her, then he had tried to trick her into bedding him. It was disgusting. He thought that if any man, for whatever reason, had done that to his sister, he would run a spear through him without further questions.

He went over to her and kissed her wet cheek.

"No, I am sorry Lothiriel. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"I know." she said simply and closed her eyes, instantly falling asleep.

Eomer was exhausted as well but knew that he could not sleep and it was almost dawn so he decided to get dressed and take a ride before everybody else in Meduseld awakened. He needed time to clear his mind and find a way out of this situation. Perhaps Lothiriel was not so wrong in asking her father to undo the marriage. Rohan would not benefit from the loss of her dowry but he felt that if she stayed with him he would feel guilty towards her for the rest of his life.

Already her tears and pleas were hunting him as he galloped over the plains.


	5. Casualty

Thank you all for your reviews, your praise and your criticism; I am trying to update frequently but can't really promise anything because time seems to shrink on me.

….

The sun was high up in the sky when the King made it back to Meduseld. Everybody was awake and making all sorts of assumptions of why he had decided to go ride on the first morning of his married life. Some said it was his way of enjoying the new found bliss, others were more skeptical.

Eomer had a hard time bringing himself back. He did not want to deal with the whole situation and for the first time in his life he felt the need to run away from something. A woman! He could not yet believe what she had done to him and he had an even harder time believing what he had been capable of doing to her since the day before. He took a deep breath and stepped into the Golden Hall where, as he expected, everyone was gathered. He thought that by now Lothiriel had somehow undone the marriage – apart from her lack of experience with men and wifehood, he read a strong will in her and guessed she got things her way most of the time. Yet when she greeted him with a smile, a curtsy and a "welcome back, Milord, I have been worried about you", she completely threw him. Again. What was it with her?

He frowned and that earned laughter from his father and brothers in law.

"It's all right if you show a little joy to see her, Eomer. Won't shade your warrior posture." Ephir said.

The King did not feel like smiling but he did anyway as he saw all his guests off, one by one. They all made rather unveiled jokes about his new status as a young married man and he felt like punching each one. This was not amusing. His new wife was obviously staying with him and he could not understand why when she had been so adamant to go the night before. He wished he could ask her but she was constantly talking to someone or other, smiling and giving the impression that everything was as it should be. She really looked her part as Queen and he realized she was doing a far better job then he was in terms of social interaction.

Now everyone was off, it was afternoon and they sat down for supper. Alone.

"Are you content you got your way, Milord?" Lothiriel asks in a very contained voice.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean my family is off and I am still here, made your wife in every way and possibly carrying your child?"

Eomer's jaw falls open.

"Milord" she continues , her voice beginning to tremble "I can understand why you did this. I have talked to my father and I know now how important my dowry is to your poor and unevolved people. But still, I think you could have obtained that aid without … me."

His anger builds up. So she stayed out of pity for him and his country. This woman is too much.

"Milady, watch your tongue. "  
"Apparently I have to watch my everything around you, Milord, lest you should rob me of it."

He jumps up from his chair and places his hands on the big wooden table, leaning forward towards her.

"This marriage was of your making, not mine! I have never had any intention of having you anywhere around me, let alone in my bed. You are the one who put yourself there and do not dare claim that with three brothers you are so innocent as to not have an inkling about what that means! I was only trying to get you to be more relaxed and stop running out the North Gate! "

Angry tears pool in her eyes. She tels herself that she should not aggravate him but can't get herself to shup up. She feels enslaved and humiliated.

"You didn't care if I was calm or not, you just did not want me to fight you so you seduced me with your kisses and your treacherous wine. Maybe I did say yes to…you …to your … your filthy bed but first you robbed me of my judgment."

A servant comes in with the supper and they both fall silent.

"We will take this to our room." Eomer says getting up and extending an arm to his wife. He needs to argue with her in private.

"Very well, I shall take it there" the servant states and walks away with the tray of food.

Lothiriel would not get up. Now she isn't looking at him either.

"Milady, this is not a conversation to be had with the help around us."

"You just do not want any witnesses to your…."

He comes really close to her and she does not finish her sentence; his proximity and he sound of his ragged breath makes her push him away and spring out the door.

Running from him again? He can't not believe it. Then he hears her fall in the hall and a loud squeak.

He finds her on the floor, still surprised by the shock of the fall. She has bumped her knees badly on a wooden stair. He picks her up and takes her to their bedroom.

"At least now you do not have to hit me, I have hurt myself." She whispers and his anger fades slightly. She is still scared of him and she does not remember all of the night before. Oddly he realizes he is afraid of her too, of how she might react when he tells her the truth. That is _if_ he tells her…

"I do not want to hit you, Lothiriel. "He says putting her down on he bed.

"What do you want, Milord?"

"Stop with the title already, I think we are beyond that. Right now I want you to listen to me."

He looks to her an she nods of approval.

"I am sorry I behaved badly towards you. I know I have and I am honestly asking you to forgive me. Yesterday I have scared you so badly that you wet yourself."  
She shrieks.

"Please don't talk about that, it is just …"

"That was my fault. As it was my fault that I gave you too much to drink and tried to make a pass at you."

"Tried?! You didn't _try_. You gave me no choice; you just smothered me with … yourself and made me give in."

He can't help a smile.

"I'm sorry."

"No, you are not. You are proud to have scored such a fat spoil of war. "

"You are not fat but rather pleasing. I like your curves." he thought a joke might lighten her up.

She gets up and pushes him violently again but forgets about her sore knees and she is about to fall again when he catches her in his arms.

"You are the most coarse, heard-headed, insensitive, violent brute I have ever met in my life and I hate you!"

"You offend me a great deal tonight, Milady. "He speaks in a very menacing tone "first you call my people unevolved, then you call my bed filthy and now this colorful array of epithets."

"Let me go, you orc!" she shouts and immediately coveres her face with her arms expecting him to strike her.

He places her on the bed and she gathers her knees up hiding her curly head behind them. She still looks as if she expecting a violent physical reaction.

"Do you want me to beat you so you can hate me even more?" he asks and he really sounds like he means it.

She thinks about his question and moves her head slightly as to say 'no'.

"Why do you hate me so much, Lothiriel?"

He sounds serious but not so intimidating.

She looks at him but doesn't know how to answer. This, all of this, is not something that she wanted and now she seems to be stuck in it for all her life. Most of all she finds repugnant the thought that he got her drunk and used her like a common whore. The idea that she might be carrying his baby is not so bad. The baby would have strong arms to defend it. Yet those strong arms could crush her too …

"I do want an answer, My Queen. After you have spat so much in my face, I really don't think you can surprise me. "

"I'm sorry." She says simply and she is surprised to feel that she means it. He did ask for forgiveness before so she should also extend some courtesy. After all, he might have done what he did for his country. Her heart would of course not stop hating him but her mind understood why.

"For hating me?" he asks

"No, that I think I have a good reason to. "

"I do not think so but all right; so what are you sorry for?"

"Calling you those things."

"_**ALL**_ of them?" he emphasizes.

"I don't remember all of them, I was too angry. I don't remember many things since yesterday."

"I will accept your apologies if you never insult me like that again. Ever!" he sounds adamant.

She keeps silent.

"What are your conditions for accepting mine?"

"For accepting your what?" she asks suddenly panicky

"My apologies."

Lothiriel thinks for a while very heard. She frowns a little bit and gently bites her tongue, letting it slightly out of her mouth as she does so. Eomer is closely watching her face and the movements of her mouth make him want to lean in and kiss her.

_Oh no! _He screams to himself. He can't just give into her charms like that when she is not even using them on purpose.

"If you don't hit me or force me to bed you again."

She says that in one breath and closes her eyes, not daring to look at him.

"I would never hit you, Lothiriel. As for you other request, I agree that I should never make you and I never will but I need to know if you are planning on making me wait very long for you"

She looks at him with eyes wide open trying to understand what he is saying. Still, it escapes her.

"If I now give you my word that I will never make you, will you allow me to bed you… ever ?" he expands.

_Oh! _So she could say 'no' forever?

"Don't I have to be in your bed every night?" she asks and he feels the smile growing on his lips again. She is clueless.

"Yes you do because there is where you sleep. You don't have to indulge me every night though."

Part of him is mad he had said that. If she thought it was her nightly duty …Then again it would not be fair of him to take advantage of her innocence.

"Oh … I thought…" she blushed .

"If you thought you had to give yourself to me every night, why would you ask me not to make you?"

"I meant not like the first time … "  
"Ah, that." The memory of how he has initially tried to claim her makes him want to chastise himself. "That had nothing to do with what it's actually like, Lothiriel."

"So … tonight, could we not …? "

"Why?' he asks and she feels it is just curiosity, he doesn't sound angry or disappointed.

"It hurts." She says simply looking down.

"Yes. We'll just sleep tonight. And tomorrow. You need a few days to heal before you can enjoy it. You will tell me when you are all right."

"Really?" she looks at him and there is so much hope in her eyes that he feels like the worst man for not telling her all the truth. She will not enjoy it next time it happens but at least it won't be doubly painful.

"Come, let's have dinner. It's cold already."

They eat in silence. They do not know what to say to each other and the mistreatments and mean words spoken still float through the air in spite of the apologies. Eomer is still not sure how he will make it with this woman. He focuses on the thought that she might give him an heir or more and that gives him something to look forward to.

Lothiriel is watching him closely. She needs to get to know the enemy before she can strike and have her revenge.


	6. Truth and Dare

As days went by Eomer and Lothiriel spent as little time as they possibly could with each other. He did not know how to be around her and felt embarrassed every time he remembered how they had started the marriage . She was terrified at the thought that eventually she would have to bed him again and wished that she would remember at least some of that first nigh. In made her feel bad that she was completely unaware of what to do and she had nobody to ask. It was so lonely in Edoras that in spite of her fear she felt some joy when meeting her husband. He was the only person who talked to her and she could see he was making an effort to be civil . Still, it was like a never ending bad dream and she just wished she would wake up in Dol Amroth.

"I need to talk to you Milady." She heard him say and jumped from the chair she had been sitting in for hours contemplating her misery. She hadn't realized it was late evening already.

"I am all right." she squeaked.

"What?"

"I am all right and you can … you know … " her voice became dimmer "bed me."

"Oh." He was smiling. "that was not what I wanted to talk to you about but it is good to know."

She grew pale.

"Are you sorry you told me that?" he asked, his mood still playful.

"A little . But it was going to happen at some point so postponing it wouldn't make it go away."

"It is not such a bad thing , you know."

"I don't know … I can't remember … all I can remember was you angry and it was a very bad thing."

"I know, I'm sorry about that. Very sorry."

"So…" she swallowed "what did you want to talk to me about?"

"You never go out of this room. "

"I have nowhere to go."

"You are Queen of this land , Lothiriel. You can go wherever."

"I do not think the people like me very much."

"They don't know much about you. "

"I should learn some Rohiric."

"I'll find you somebody to help."

"Thank you."

It was awkward. They could both feel it. Part of Eomer had been waiting impatiently for her to say she was ready for him. The other part hoped she would not say so for a while because he dreaded the moment she found out she was still a virgin. It was unlike him to hide from something but that's what he had been doing for the last fortnight.

Lothiriel was also not one to shy away from challenges and decided that the sooner she got over her bed fright the better. She quietly removed all her clothes to the mute astonishment of her husband who wondered how he would ever get to talk to her and tell her the truth when his desire was taking control.

She felt very embarrassed to be naked but still walked to the bed and bent over it resting on her arms.

His first impulse was to take her right there but then it dawned on him that her very alluring positioning did not come from years of experience and feeling at ease with this but from complete lack of knowledge. All she could remember was their first time and he realized that this must be harder on her than it was for him to just be honest.

He took a deep breath and knowing that this could lead to not getting any physical satisfaction at all, went over to the bed, gently helped her up and kissed her lips.

She went stiff in his arms and when his hand travelled down and touched her bare bottom she could not take it anymore.

"Could you please just do it and not prolong my humiliation?"

Eomer stepped away and looked at her. She was scared and miserable which dampened his desire.

"Lothiriel, I am not going to just 'do it' as you say and my honest intention is for you to want and like this , not to feel humiliated in any way."

She was going from upset to furious.

"I do not want and I will never like this!" she shouted.

"I see. " he said still calm. "I promised never to make you so if you do not want this, it won't happen."

"Oh, now you give me a choice …".

"You always had a choice , Lothiriel. You had a choice of husbands when you decided to pick me. "

"Right now I wish I had picked anybody else, even an orc would have done!"

Very angry tears were pooling in her eyes and his temper would have risen were he not aware that she was just scared and embarrassed.

"Why am I the worst choice ?"

" Why? You raped me , that's why! And then you kept me captive here to benefit from my dowry. "

He picked up her dress and handed it to her.

"Get dressed."

"Why?! Don't you want to warm your bed with me anymore?"

"Trust me, my Queen, warming things is not a quality you seem to possess."

She raised her hand and slapped him very hard over his cheek.

Now he was getting angry.

"If you ever do that again, I will hit you back even though I promised never to do so."

"I hate you!" she shouted again then quickly put on her dress.

" I can see that. I do not like you very much myself but we are married to each other and that is not going to go away so please let's find a way to cope."

Having her body covered gave the young Queen more confidence. She did not feel like a cornered wild animal anymore.

"All right." She said even though deep down she thought she would never come to terms with this. It was too preposterous and the way he had already wronged her could never be mended.

"I have something to tell you and you might hate me even more but it is your right to know."

She sat on the bed and braced herself. What could he have possible done to make her think even worse about him?

" I have not really raped you, Lothiriel but I have in a way lied to you about it."

"I don't understand…" she said softly

"After I got you thoroughly drunk and … well… seduced you up to a point , I stopped. I know you do not remember, but I stopped."

" Why?" she could not get her mind around what he was saying.

"Because it would have been to painful for you to do that then."

No, this could not be so. He was trying to seduce her all over again by claiming he took pity on her that night.

"I do not believe you!"

"You will whenever you decide to actually let me be your husband."

"How?"

Her complete oblivion was apparent again and he could not help a smile.

"You are still … intact at the moment."

"Oh …" There it was. She was still a maiden and she could not remember what had occurred that horrid night because nothing actually had. "So… you do not expect me to know what to do … um … in bed?" she asked shyly .

" No, I don't expect that."

Really? _That _was her worry at the moment? Eomer noted he really did not understand her at all.

"Why did you give me so much time to heal when you knew nothing was … injured?"

" I don't feel good about what happened two weeks ago , Lothiriel. I am very ashamed of how I behaved and honestly do not want to ever rush you or force you. And I did not know how to tell you that you are still virgin."

" So you would rather let me believe you had taken that from me when I was passed out from drinking?"

"I wouldn't rather but it is what you thought and I … I honestly did not have the courage to tell you that you could have tried pleading to your father to undo the marriage. When I left that morning I thought that is what you are going to do."

"So you wanted me gone?"

"Yes . I did "

She swallowed. She wanted herself gone too but it was rather offensive that he felt no regret if she were to leave.

" That plan could never have actually worked . If my family found that I was still a virgin after my wedding night they would have probably dragged me to your bed themselves and stayed there until the deed was done."

"You exaggerate , Lothiriel. But no, I don't think there was a chance of undoing this union."

"Still you hoped."

"Yes, I did."

" I guess you hate me even more than I you."

"I don't hate you , Lothiriel and I don't think you hate me either. "

" You kept me here under false pretense."

"I did not keep you. You had decided to stay by the time I got back and I did not find out until evening why . "

"How did you know it would be too painful if we would … you know?"  
"You said so. "

" What if I was lying to make you leave me alone?"  
" First of all the wine had made you more honest than you probably wished to be and second , you can tell me to leave you alone regardless if it is painful or not."

"What do you want from me now?" she was starting to panic again .

"To be my wife and Queen of this land. "

" I suppose you also expect me to come quietly to your bed."

Eomer smiled. She was blunt but he liked that.

"You don't have to be quiet, just make pleasure noises rather than insult me in any way possible."

She blushed. It didn't feel like he was mocking her but it was still rather embarrassing for her. If before she knew that she would have to allow him at some point, go through the whole thing with what dignity she could muster and then drown her sorrow in hating him now she was lost.

"Is it going to hurt ?"

"It will be a little uncomfortable at first. But I will take it as slow as you need me to."

"All right then. Should I … "

"Get undressed and bend over the bed? No."

"I don't know what to do ."

She looked so innocent that Eomer suddenly forgot all the name calling and her attempted escapes.

"I will lead you but I need your consent first."

"I am married to you , Milord. I think that is the highest form of consenting."

"We both know you did not want this, Milday. I think you still don't so I won't run the risk of you accusing me of rape all over again."

"At least I will remember this one."

"I will not force you or get you drunk this time so I hope it will be a fond memory."

"Never!" she was holding back very angry tears. Even she could not work out why she was so outraged. He wasn't unreasonable, he had actually spared her on their wedding night and he had been more than civilized with her for the past weeks in spite of her accusations. Yet this feeling of utter defeat made her angry.

"You would actually prefer I were a brute so you can hate me."

".I would prefer that I woke up and this was all a bad dream. "

"It is not a dream and it doesn't have to be bad. "

"For you perhaps."

"Lothiriel, out of the two of us, you are the one who made this marriage happen."

"Yes, but out of it you got my dowry and permanent access to my bed."

" I could have managed without your country's supplies and I was not lacking between the sheets. That changed with you."

Again she raised her arm but stopped before it reached him.

"What is wrong with you?!" his voice thundered. " I am making a real effort to be fair to you in spite of the fact that you made me marry you, called me every insult you could think of and tried to run away on our wedding night."

"I did not want this." She said simply.

"Neither did I but your little plan lead us both here. Get your head around it and learn to live with it!" he was still shouting at her .

"I don't know how" her voice was still calm denoting surrender.

"Stop staying in this room looking at the walls. You will die of loneliness and boredom if you don't"

She did not know what to say. He was very intimidating and she felt like she was going to cry.

"Are you going to allow me to bed you tonight or not" he asked her trying to temper his voice.

She couldn't answer but moved her head up and down as to say 'yes'.

He took her chin in his hand and made her look at him.

"There is nothing to fear in this, Lothiriel. It is a very natural thing"

"Easy for you, maybe; it scares me to death. "

" Death has nothing to do with it. Life perhaps if the gods please. "


	7. Bitter Breakthrough

The thought of having a child had crossed Lothiriel's mind in the past weeks. It was actually the only hope she held on to. She needed a baby to fill her time and to ensure Eomer would not strike at her in any way.

"All right then." She said taking in a deep breath. "Just please don't toy with me, do what you have to do and let that be the end of it."

" I can't guarantee you that you will be with child after one night. "

"I know that and I know that it is my duty not only to give you heirs but provide … bed entertainment. I just don't want you to amuse yourself at my expense."

"I would never do that, Lothiriel."

"Well then don't kiss me and be all tender. I hold no false idea that you care for me."

"So I should just bend you over and have my way."

"Yes."

"And you think you would be all right with that."

"Yes, I will. No need for ornaments. This is what this is."

"I disagree. Going about it like that would be no good for you. You need to be eased into it, especially since it is your first time."

"I can take it."

"I don't doubt that. I just don't want to give it to you like that. I've been rough with you enough for this entire marriage."

"I don't mind"

"Yes you do. And it is normal, Lothiriel."

"We either do it how I want it or we don't do it at all."

He raised an eyebrow . Her voice was trembling when she said the last phrase so he guessed she was nervous. Why she preferred the brutal act to him being gentle he could not understand.

"I will make you another deal. You let me go about it how I want and if it is bad for you we'll do it your way."

"You are stubborn."

"Same to you." He said playfully.

"Fine. What do you want me to do ?"

"Relax."

"Ha!"

He came really close to her and leaned his face very close to hers.

"I mean it , Lothiriel. Nothing bad is going to happen to you tonight. You will like this."

"No , I will…"

Before she could finish his lips were on hers and since he caught her mouth open he did not hold back from exploring every corner of it. It felt strange to her and just stood still for a while, holding her tongue as back as she could until it was starting to hurt so she moved it and clumsily tried to reciprocate.

"Breathe through your nose." She heard him whisper when he pulled away for only a moment before resuming his activity. It was starting to feel rather good, his lips and his teeth were becoming more playful , biting slightly, sucking and just surprising her every time she thought she got hold of the pattern.

This was getting him very aroused, especially since he hadn't bedded anybody in what seemed forever. He had to make her like it lest he should go insane with frustration.

With that in mind he moved away from her mouth and down to her neck. The strange sensation made her gasp and move her hands on his arms as she felt she might lose her balance. He kept going downwards with the kisses while his hands skillfully made the dress fall down from her shoulders and leave her naked for the second time that night. She didn't like the feeling of being so exposed.

"I don't like it this."

He looked up at her.

"You don't like me kissing you?"

"No, that is all right. I can't stand you seeing me undressed."

"Are you under the impression that if you are facing the wall instead of me I don't see your body?"

She hadn't though of that and now felt stupid. Of course she was just as exposed either way.

"Eomer , please, this is not good for me."

"All right. What makes you feel bad?"

"Being naked!" She shouted.

"I see."

He took a step back and started to undress himself. She instinctively looked away.

"You are right, it's not fair that I can look at you and you can't at me." He said and when she turned to face him all his clothes were gone.

She knew she should not be staring between his legs but could not help it and she pulled her legs tight together. Oh, this was going to hurt. Judging by his size she figured it would hurt every time.

"Is this better?" he asked not able to hide his amusement.

"No. Now I really wished I hadn't seen your … thing."

He laughed.

"Lothiriel, I promise you it will be all right."

She wanted so bad for all of this to end that she just moved to the bed and again assumed the position from earlier. She wanted to spread her legs but she was so frightened that they were shaking and uncontrollably.

He went to her and gently caressed her bottom then placed a soft kiss on it. His hands travelled down her legs, then back up, all the way to her very core. When she felt his finger against her she jumped.

"It's just my hand, Lothiriel."

She wanted to shout at him to get it over with but in spite of her complete embarrassment she did not feel bad. His hand was caressing her most intimate place with incredible skill and suddenly she felt something wet inside of her, something the she realized came out without her permission. She instantly jumped up and pushed him away looking down and touching herself with her hand. There was no puddle but the liquid was there between her lets. She did not understand what it was or how it had happened. It didn't seem to pour just pooled here, she could feel there was more inside her and panic took over.

He was closely watching her.

'You are wet" he said when he understood the nature of her bewilderment.

"I'm sorry." She said, tears almost choking her.

"Don't be. You are supposed to get wet, it is your body's way of welcoming me."

"I don't understand."

"Lothiriel, trust me, everything that is happening right now is natural. You don't need to be scared or embarrassed. "

He kissed her lips again and even though it still felt awkward with that unidentified moisture, she did relax and did not even realize what he was doing until she found herself on her back on the bed with him above her, kissing her lips, her neck and her breasts while his hand played with her folds and occasionally struck a very sensitive spot making her feel a strange longing.

It was harder and harder for him to control his desire and decided she was ready enough.

"Spread your legs" he whispered and that brought her back to reality. She realized that this was it and she really wanted it. Whatever he had done resulted in her body not belonging to her anymore. She craved for him, she wanted to feel him inside her and the thought that it will hurt did not scare her anymore so she obeyed and opened for him.

He smiled and slowly inserted his finger inside her.

She gasped and arched her back.

"It's all right." He reassured her. " I promise you there will be a lot more pleasure than pain."

Before she could say anything his fingers started to move rhythmically , rubbing her very sensitive spot and occasionally going inside her, deeper each time . Something unknown was building inside her and suddenly she felt like she was going to explode. She tried to sit up but he gently held her down, never stopping the relentless assault on her womanhood.

Lothiriel whimpered something in his mouth and he broke the kiss.

" Eomer, please, I can't… it is … it hurts."

He stopped immediately.

"Are you in pain?" he looked at her worried.

"I don't know… "

" Why did you say it hurts?"

" I can't think of any other name for it."

He smiled.

"I will go really slow, you tell me when it gets bad."

He resumed his ministrations, his eyes locked on hers. She was obviously very stiff and apprehensive.

"Lothiriel, let yourself go. Stop trying to control your body and just feel."

"I'm scared."

"Why?"

"I don't … I can't hold on … and that moisture is just horrible."

" Trust me, it is very nice. And you don't have to hold on, let me lead you."

He gently kissed her lips and whispered "close your eyes" to her.

She did and felt his finger stretching her. It did not feel very comfortable but then his other finger started that maddening rub while his mouth took hold of her right nipple. She was suddenly lost and waves of unfamiliar pleasure went to her core making her shake and struggle for breath.

"Eom…plea…"

"Shh…I've got you, you're all right, just feel…" he whispered to her until her shaking ceased and he knew she had finished.

Lothiriel opened her eyes and the moment they met her husband's she closed them again. He just laughed and placed a small kiss on her lips.

"I asked you not to toy with me." She sounded very upset.

"I did no such thing. Just wanted to show you some pleasure first."

"Oh… " she braced herself .

" It will be all right, I promise." He said and used his knee to gently spread her legs. She looked away, biting her lip.

Eomer was more than ready and wasted no time before pushing into her a little. He looked to see her reaction but she remained motionless.

"I'm going to need you to guide me." He said and she turned her blazing eyes on him. She seemed angry.

"I think you should keep what you are doing until I break." She answered sardonically.

His patience was running out. He had done everything in his power to make this good for her and now he was wondering if she deserved it.

"Lothiriel, either you talk to me and take this easy or I will just have you with no regard to your virginity. It is your choice."

" Just get on with it, I am fine."

He pushed with some conviction and she whimpered a little bit. He pulled out and used his fingers to stretch her. She was dry again , probably because she was nervous so he put his fingers in his mouth and rubbed her entrance until he felt more of her body's fluid gathering in.

The second time he pushed into her he naturally slid a little further in and felt break her resistance. She kept her eyes closed and he decided to give it one more try so he kissed her lips and whispered to her :

"Please do this with me, don't just let me do it to you."

"I don't know how." She answered in all honesty and even though it wasn't an agreement, it was good enough for him.

"Pull your knees up and stop me if it gets too bad."

"It already is too bad. "

He let out a very loud growl and she knew that it came out of an immense frustration. It scared her and she understood that he was on the edge. She was too proud to just give in and tell him that she allows him to go on but tentatively pushed herself up , taking more of him in. He hadn't expected that and his desire had become so great and so painful that on reflex he took hold of her hips and plunged all the way in, finding only a small resistance.

Lothiriel screamed when she felt the sharp pain of the tear and tried to push him away.

"It's too bad, it's too bad ! " she sobbed between tears but he was motionless.

"Shhh, it's all right. It's done now."

"It huts…" she said, not very convinced herself because now she only felt a slight discomfort.

"I know, I'm sorry. It will go away once you adjust to me."

Her eyes were wide open, fixed upon his.

"And then it is done?"

"Not quite. Then I really need to move."

"All right." She answered and he realized she did not know what he meant.

"Inside you."

"How can you move? It's … stuck."

He smiled then gently pulled a little back then pushed again.

"Oh!" she was surprised.

"Can you take it?"

"I guess."

He started to move back and forth, at first very slowly, then faster and faster till she could see his control was done and the same pleasure that had made her shake and forget to breathe was taking him over. When his rhythm increased to a point where it made her sore she wanted to stop him and tentatively pushed her hands against his chest. He understood what she wanted but could not get himself to stop before he found release. To their common relief, it came very soon and he exploded inside her with a loud groan.

They didn't move in what seemed to be eternity. Eventually Eomer rolled over on his side and looked at her. She turned to face him and tried to cover her breasts with her arm.

"Are you all right?" he asked, a little worried.

"Yes. "

"I meant to be gentler with you tonight, I'm sorry."

"It was all right. I expected it to hurt a lot more. "

"You will enjoy it. You just need to relax."

"I doubt I will. But I shall do my duty to you regardless and I will provide you with a male heir."

The King's hopes of finding some shred of happiness with this stubborn and childish woman were all beginning to fade.

"You should go wash and come to sleep. "

"Do you want to check the bedcovers for blood?"

"No. I don't think there should be any. "

"Why not? Do you not believe I was a virgin?" she sounded offended.

"I know you were. I'm just starting to doubt you are human. "


	8. Weakness

Lothiriel stayed awake for long time thinking about his painful words. She knew she deserved them and she was also aware that by now she was a lot more wrong than he was. His initial reaction to their marriage had indeed been horrible but he was genuinely sorry about that and what she had now were glimpses of a very fair and honest man trying to mend his wrongdoings and find a way to cope with her. She was almost certain that his promise to make her regret she married him for the rest of her life was long forgotten. He didn't seem to still be holding her a grudge and even when she had spat the nastiest things in his face he had not hurt or punished her. Life had suddenly turned out to be very different than she had wanted and that was why she felt so angry and vengeful. There was so much pain and fury bottled up inside her that she often felt like running a sword through a dozen innocent children. She understood now the meaning of rage and though she knew it was not justified, she could not help feeling it. That moment, in the dark beside her husband who had just claimed her body she wanted to scream so loud that her heart would explode. In a foreign land, alone with a man she didn't know or cared for and with no hope of an end to the situation… she couldn't scream but her despair got the better of her and she started to cry so hard that air could no longer make his way to her lungs and she was suffocating.

Eomer woke up at the first sound. He had seen panic before but not like this. Usually it was brought about by the horrors of war. The thought that this was by the horror of him was unbearable. He wanted to get up and leave but the intensity of her gasps for air were worrying. She could really choke to death if she did not calm down so he went to the fire with a candle and lit it , then came back and placing it on the table sat beside her and helped her sit up in bed. Lothiriel did not push him away but grabbed his wrists with her tiny hands and squeezed them forcefully.

"Shhh… try to relax. Breathe slowly."

That did not seem to convince her and Eomer was now really scared so he looked her straight in the eyes and with a thundering voice said to her:

"You will breathe with me!"

As in a dream she obeyed and they started to take air in and exhale mirroring each other. She managed to calm down in what seemed like forever. Even after it was obvious no harm still threatened to come to her they kept up the exercise.

"Was it that horrible for you?" he eventually asked and she looked at him surprised. He looked very miserable and though her first thought was to punish him by saying yes (she knew how sensitive men were to the appraisal of their bed skills from her brothers) she knew both that it was not the case and he did not deserve that.

"No. It was good. A lot better than I had expected." She said looking to see his reaction.

He was not convinced and the fact that he did not have the usual response to such flattery – by now there was supposed to be a smug grin on his face – worried her. She let go of his wrists and started to fondle her hands in her lap.

"I _am_ human." She whispered

That took him by surprise. He had not intended to hurt her that badly with his words.

"I'm sorry I said that."

"You were right to say it. I acted weird. I was scared."

"It's normal that you were, Lothiriel."

"You were good to me." She swallowed. "I wasn't crying because you bedded me."

"Then why were you crying?"

"I am still scared. "

"Of me?"

She looked into his eyes. Yes, she was still a little apprehensive about him too but he did not need to know that so she shook her head as to say 'no'. The only thought she could form while she was desperately trying to breathe before was that she wanted a child. She needed to not be alone anymore and have some power over the strong man she had married.

"Will you … "she started but realized she did not have courage to voice it so she just closely examined her hands.

"Will I what?" he frowned seeing how uncomfortable she was all of a sudden.

She did not answer.

"Lothiriel, do you want me to leave?"

"No!" she shouted.

"Then what do you want?"

She looked him in the eyes but could not get herself to answer so she got up on her knees on the bed and with very unsteady hands tried to remove her nightgown. While she was doing that all sorts of thoughts came into her mind. What will he think of her if she asked such a thing? Only very loose, immoral women demanded that sort of gratification.

After the small moment of surprise, Eomer could not help a smile. _Now_ he was flattered and holding back the smug grin she had expected earlier. She saw his smile and pulled back her gown, feeling absolutely wretched.

"Never mind." She said and got under the blankets pulling them all the way up to her chin and trying hard not to cry. This was humiliating.

"Lothiriel, I… "

"No! Don't say anything, please. It was stupid of me. Let it go."

She was upset.

"I did not mean to offend you."

"I am not offended. You said I never have to do that if I don't want to and I suppose it's only fair it should go for you as well."

"Lothiriel, it is not that I don't want to…"

"I'm don't possess bed warming qualities, I know."

Eomer was surprised. It really mattered to her if he wanted her; there was still hope.

"You do possess such qualities; I just don't think it's wise to do that now."

"Why?" she was still pouting.

"It would hurt you."

"I don't mind. Really." She was looking at him eagerly. Again, he was lost.

"I mind, I don't like hurting you. "

"But it doesn't hurt that bad, really it doesn't." She was pleading. It had happened to him before but usually women wanted him to please them not make them sore.

"Lothiriel, why are you adamant I make love to you again?"

It was her turn to be lost. From her brothers she was left to understand that mating was something men never turned down. Her husband had obviously been very eager to have her the first time and she could tell that he was not against it now either but he still did not jump to it. She could not possibly tell him that she wanted to be with child as soon as possible because that would give him too much power over her. It was also out of the question to tell him she wanted it because she liked it – only a whore would say that.

"Well?" he asked seeing the little frown on her face.

"I just want you to touch me." She answered, very proud that she found something decent to say. Now he would feel bad for saying she wasn't human.

He climbed back in bed and gathered her in his arms. His embrace was warm and tender and she could do nothing but relax into it. He was definitely very human and that gave her hope. She had already caught some glimpses of how she could have her ways and was now sure that as long as she played the helpless damsel he would eat from the palm of her hand.

He leaned in and placed a kiss on her shoulder.

"Go to sleep, Princess and have sweet dreams" he whispered and that undid her. She tried to stop herself but tears came without binding. It was almost like he did it on purpose.

Eomer turned her around in his arms and searched her face.

"Please don't panic again. It's all right, I promise you."

"I know, I'm sorry she said between sobs. "

"If you want to cry, fine. I suppose it's your way of finding relief. Just please don't despair."

She couldn't believe that right now she was the one eating from the palm of his hand. Feeling helpless infuriated her and the thought that she needed a child came back even stronger than before.

"Please make love to me" she said and was surprised to hear the words come out of her mouth. Now she was begging him, it was more demeaning than asking for a touch and crying in his arms.

He gave her a gentle smile and kissed her lips. Her request was odd to him but he decided to indulge her anyway. While his lips entertained her, his hand made it under the blankets and went directly between her legs where with a few skilled strokes ensured she was wet and ready. He tentatively inserted a finger and felt her go stiff.

"Stop me if it hurts." He said breaking the kiss.

"It doesn't…" she whispered not looking at him. She still felt like crying.

"Lothiriel, I mean it."

"I know!" she shouted not being able to control her emotion.

This did not feel right to Eomer.

"Do you want me to hurt you because you need to be mad at me?"

"No, I don't. You are not hurting me, I'm just stupid, don't mind me. "

"It's rather impossible to ignore you in this particular circumstance." He jested.

"Just … do it. "

"No."

"Fine. Then just go." She said and turned on her side, angry tears rolling down her cheeks.

"What is it with you?" his question sounded angry.

She could not stand it anymore so she jumped out of bed and out the door, running down the corridor and out of Meduseld in the middle of the night. Again. This time she didn't feel the cold until she was halfway down the stairs. If two weeks ago it had been cold, now it was freezing and the chillness of the wood bit at her bare feet.

It didn't surprise her to be swept off this time since she expected him to follow her. He carried her back to the bedroom without a word and placed her on the bed.

"Are you going to boil me again? "

"I never boiled you and you haven't been in the cold for long. "

"It was good to feel the fresh air."

"I didn't lock you in this room, Milady. I am just opposed to you taking naked barefoot walks in the middle of the night."

"It's almost morning."

"Still too cold to go outside like that." He smiled.

"I'm very tired."

He blew out the candle and got into bed. She followed and was drawn to the warmth of his body so she got close to him without touching though.

"May I?" he asked draping an arm around her and pulling her to him.

"Yes."

Lothiriel relaxed and just before sleep took her she thought again that maybe her situation was not so hopeless.


	9. Yours and Mine

Morning found Lothiriel alone as always but this particular time she felt slightly bad about it. It was almost like her husband had used her and deserted her. Then she remembered his refusal and the sentiment changed from deserted to plain angry.

She got dressed in the most revealing gown she had and decided to make an appearance in the Golden Hall. Eomer was in the middle of what seemed a very important matter. He looked very upset and the faces of everyone around him showed that the situation did not look good. All bowed their heads and in the surprise of the moment Eomer followed them without thinking and when he realized it was not the case to show his submission to her he looked up only to see everyone's muffled laughs. Lothiriel froze in the middle in the room and not knowing what else to do in this very weird situation, she bowed herself:

"Good morning Milord."

That earned a general smile and the subtle sign of one of the captains the room emptied and she was left alone with her husband.

"I'm sorry." She said simply

"What for?"He asked getting up from his chair and coming very close to her.

"I didn't mean to interrupt and make things awkward."

"I think me responsible for the awkwardness, you look very royal this morning and I forgot my place."

"Why were you so upset?" she asked trying hard not to blush at the unexpected compliment.

"We are not ready for winter and the signs show that it will be a hard one."

"The food is low?"

"No, there is enough of that but there are entire villages that still sleep under the open sky and it is going to snow soon."

"What will you do?"

"I don't know yet. We are trying to find solutions. "

"Can't the people go away till spring?"

"Away where? They are not birds to go to warmer places."

"To Dol Amroth, for example. Winter is not so hard over there and I'm sure they will agree to supply food and wood for your … our people."

"I'm glad to see you consider them your people. I thought you said…"

"I know perfectly well what I said Milord and I am pretty sure I apologized for that. You did some evil things to me and I had to let them go so please do me the courtesy of not throwing my angry words back at me."

"Forgive me. "He said and wondered why she was so worked up.

"I really think you should consider sending them to Dol Amroth. If you say winter will be here soon there is not much time. "

"It's a long way there. And I would have to get your father's approval first. "

"You have the fastest horses on Middle Earth. If you write a letter today …"

"Would you go there as well for the winter?" he frowned

"You think I came up with this solution because I want to run from Edoras?"

"Well, you did try to escape twice so far. This would provide you with a means of travel, guidance and proper clothes for the journey."

"I wasn't running away from Rohan last night. Just from you."

"Why?"

That rage that he was already used to was back in her eyes.

"You used me and then …"

"Used you?!" he was shouting "I asked you if you wanted it and you said yes, Princess. More so, regardless of what you say, you enjoyed it and begged me to do it again."

Her slap came fast and hard. He grabbed her wrist and twisted it just enough so he knew no permanent harm would come to it but it would burn like the fires of Mordor as long as he held it like that.

Tears were gathering in her eyes.

"Let me go, you orc! "

He released her and she rubbed the sore spot.

"Fine, go to Dol Amroth for the winter if that is what you want. I will not send the people there because there is no time to prepare for the trip but you can go. We'll say the cold weather of Rohan was too much for you. But you will have to come back in spring."

She looked at him in disbelief. His offer was more than she ever hoped for. Was it a test or was he really ready to let her go, even if just for a while?

"Do you trust me to come back?"

"I trust your brothers to bring you back. You are my wife, Lothiriel, now in every meaning of it so you don't have much choice."

"So now that I am marked by you I can go wherever?"

Why was she upset? Eomer expected her to jump at the opportunity of going back home.

"I didn't burn you with heated iron."

"No, you just …"

"I what?! I can understand why you were so infuriated when you thought I raped you but why in Bema's name are you so angry with me now? I gave you all the choices, I didn't rush you, I asked you over and over and you said yes. "

"Because you said no! And then you just left by sunrise! "

Her cheeks flared up with embarrassment.

This woman was more than a handful. He took her hand and strode all the way to the bedroom with her struggling to keep up. When the door was closed and locked both of their hearts were racing.

Eomer lead his wife to the bed and turned her around to unfasten the ribbon holding her dress. By the way it looked he knew she must have done it herself and probably struggled quite a bit. He slipped the garment down from her shoulders and turned her with her face to him. Her eyes were examining the floor.

"Lothiriel, I won't do anything if you say no."

"I'm not saying no."

He used his fingers to lift her chin so she would look at him. It was impossible to read her expression.

"I'm not sure you want this."

"I do." she said and gave him a smile. She could imagine herself holding her child.

"It might hurt."

She just got into bed and fondled with her slip until it was over her head and she threw it on the floor.

Her shyness was arousing. He got rid of his own clothes and got into bed beside her. She closed her eyes and shifted a little bit opening her legs.

Eomer looked at her for a moment. She wasn't bad looking and her willingness and abandonment made him want her. He leaned in and kissed her and she jumped.

"Is something wrong?"

"No, I was not expecting that, that's all. You don't need to soothe me, you can just…"

"Do it, I know, you keep telling me. Don't you like it when I kiss you?"

"No." she answered and regretted it immediately.

"Fine." He decided it was maybe wiser to just do it before she infuriated him even more so he got on top of her and tentatively pushed against her. She was completely dry and that gave him the confirmation that she really only said she wanted him without her body's participation.

She realized when he stopped that something was wrong. She needed his kisses and his touches, she knew that but did not want to admit it so before he could humiliate her she stroke first:

"Not up to it, Milord? I have heard it happens sometimes."

His thrust came forceful and punishing and her scream filled the room.

"Shall I continue?" his icy voice cut right through her.

"Yes." She spat back and he slammed into her again, his eyes never leaving her pain ridden face.

This time she didn't scream but tears came into her eyes.

He pulled out feeling just like on his wedding night. How this woman always brought out the worst in him he could not figure out. He lay on his back looking at the ceiling and wishing he hadn't given in to her taunting. Obviously his wife wanted him to be a brute so she could hate him.

"I'm sorry." He heard her say and turned to look at her.

"Why do you want me to hurt you?"

"I don't."

"Then why do you challenge me constantly? "

She leaned in and touched his lips. She was shaking and her kiss was very unsure but it was a good way to keep her quiet so he kissed her back, turning all the anger he felt towards her and himself into passion. Lothiriel gained courage from his boldness and pulled him until he was over her again, opening her mouth, her arms and her legs to give him better access. Finally it felt right to Eomer as well. She was tangled up it the moment and though it was obvious she did not know how to reciprocate at least she fully allowed him and he was sure she wanted this. His hand made its way between her legs o there was no need for his expert touches since she was already soaked with desire so he easily slid into her and waited a moment to feel reaction. It was easier than asking her since that usually started an argument. She understood his hesitation and locked her legs around him to show him he was in the right place. He smiled against her lips shortly then resumed the kiss while slowly moving inside her.

"Are you all right?" he asked when he felt he needed to go faster.

"Yes…" she answered out of breath and when he increased his rhythm she wrapped her arms around his neck and hid her curly head against his chest. There was some soreness but Lothiriel didn't care and was very surprised to feel her pleasure growing . She decided not to lose control of herself this time but when it actually came to it she heard herself breathlessly begging against his skin:

"Don't stop! Don't stop! Don't …" and some sound high sound she never thought she could produce left her lungs and she was undone.

Her arms let go of him and she collapsed against the pillows, exhausted and rather embarrassed now that her wits were gathering again. He had stopped and was now looking at her with a smile on his face.

"I didn't stop so now may I go for my own pleasure?"

He was teasing her and she felt shy enough so she wanted to say no. It would be so great to torture him but then reality struck her: she needed him to finish. Her purpose was to be with child. How could she possible forget that and allow herself to get buried in her lust like a ... His growl interrupted her thoughts.

"Don't stop." She smiled back and he was relieved to see she had a sense of humor.

Watching him come was funny to Lothiriel and she was wondering how she looked like and if he thought of her in the same way when she was pleading and hanging on to him. Then, just when he filled her with his seed and made an even stranger noise it dawned on her that he was vulnerable. As inexperienced as she was, he needed her for this and since he had given her the power to deny him whenever she wanted she held the power.

"What now?" he asked closely inspecting her frowny face.

"Nothing. "She said pulling up the covers.

"Did it hurt?" he was genuinely concerned.

"You know it didn't. But if you need me to say it: fine, it was good. I liked it. And I did not want you to stop." She blushed and could not look at him.

He laughed and for a moment felt completely carefree. Then he remembered winter was coming and he had to help his people.

"Will you hate me again if I leave?" he asked

"And go where?!" she sounded panicky.

"Find my council and make plans for winter."

"No." she sounded relieved "why would I hate you for that?"

"For the same reason you did this morning. I didn't think you'd feel bad if I got up before you."

"I didn't think I would either. It was stupid."

"Do you want to leave for the winter?"

"I don't think it would be wise, Milord. The people would never accept me if I just left for a warmer place when they are in such a bad state."

"A very political answer, Milady, but it is not what I asked you."

"Yes, I would love to go. I miss my home but I know my duty so I won't. In spite of what you think of me, I am not looking for ways to escape."

"I am not your captor, Lothiriel."

"Obviously. You seem rather eager to be rid of me." She was pouting again.

"Maybe I wouldn't if you didn't seem so miserable to be here all the time."

"You think I want to be unhappy?!"

"Why else you insist to fight with me and make me act like a creature of Mordor?"

"Do not blame me for your orc-like behavior. You didn't even know me when you stormed into my room on our wedding night."

"I thought you let that go."

"Being bedded against your will is not something easily forgotten."

"Milady, I did rough you up and I admit that. But to the best of my knowledge you were bedded twice in your life and your will was anything but against it."

"You are coarse."

"I am ?! Because I said you wanted it ?"

" Maybe I did but I didn't like it ! I'm not your whore."

Eomer's eyes widened. This woman was a complete and very complicated mystery.

"You told me earlier that you _did_ like it and it does not make you a whore. You are my wife and Rohan's Queen so stop treating me as if I was a servant daring to look upon you because as many choices as I give you, you are _mine_. "

"You have no power over me!" she shouted and would have jumped out of bed if she weren't unclothed.

He sighed.

"If it were my choice, I wouldn't want to have anything over you but oddly enough, it was your choice. You decided to be mine, Milady, and now you are so get used to it. "

"I will go to Dol Amroth!"

" Which is also something I allow you to do. You need my blessing and my men to do that."

"Then I won't go."

"Yes, stay here and torture me with your childish whims. Get me in bed in the middle of the day so you can spoil the small pleasure I find with you with bitter words. It makes a lot more sense."

" A _little_ pleasure?"

He had got out of bed and was getting dressed.

"Yes, Milady, little. It should put your worries to rest, you definitely do not possess whorish qualities. You can't even let me see your body." he finished seeing how tight she held to the covers.

"Fine. Look at me then!" she shouted jumping out of bed. "It's your right to inspect me since I am yours."

Desire was threatening to take over again so Eomer walked over to her and picking up the robe she had left on one of the chairs dressed her in it.

" I don't want to inspect you but your body is very appealing and I like looking at it. I hope that is not offensive to you."

"It's not. I didn't mean to offend you either."

"I am pretty sure that is exactly what you wanted when you called me an orc."

She sighed.

"Just go."

"Yes , Milady." He answered and just before he closed the door he looked at her with a bitter smile : " by the way, I am yours too."

"I know." She replied with a wicked smile which he didn't catch since he was already rushing towards the Golden Hall.


	10. Lost and Found

When Eomer bid good-night and retired it seemed to be just another quiet night in Meduseld. When a short time later he barged into the guardroom it was obvious there was turmoil. The men all jumped to their feet and grabbed their weapons.

"Eothain, you come with me to the stables. Gamling and Trin you go to the terrace. Glig and Aest search towards the Northern gate. Leave your weapons, get torches."

When nobody moved , the King understood they had no idea what he was asking of them.

"We are looking for Lothiriel. She probably went out and lost her way."

"Milord" Trin started in an unsure voice " do we know that she wants to be found?"

"Of course she wants to be found ! It is dark, cold and she does not know the language , why would she not…" as he spoke, the real sense of the question revealed itself to Eomer. They thought Lothiriel had run away. He was surprised that the thought did not cross his mind. " Yes, she wants to be found!"

"Do you want to find her ?" Glig asked and before he could answer, the young ruler of Rohan heard Trin again with the same soft voice "Alive?" .

A heavy silence filled the room and the soldiers were paralyzed by their Lord's angry countenance. He did not need to answer any of their questions, it was very obvious he did want his wife back and was convinced it was her wish as well. Eothain knew the King well and decided to diffuse the situation before it became any worse.

"Milord, we will go look for the Queen and bring her back unharmed. Forget the mindless words spoken here."

"Forget?!"

All right, the diffusion had not worked.

"Forgive us, Milord, we did not mean to …" Glig started but was stopped.

"Are you mad?!" Eomer's voice thundered. "Lothiriel is your Queen. Your allegiance to me and to Rohan also means allegiance to her. I swore to honor and protect her and you have the audacity to ask me if I want to find her alive ?!"

" We'll find her Milord." Eothain said and motioned the other men to go which they did eagerly since by now each feared for his own life.

"How could they ask me if I would have my wife killed, Eothain?" the King asked as they were making their way to the stables.

"May speak openly?" the captain asked.

"Of course, Eothain. You are my most trusted friend, I need you to speak openly."

" They think you hate the Queen because she made you marry her. There are rumors that she did it because she was already with child and since Rohan needed her dowry you would have to accept that ."

"What?! She is a princess of Gondor ! " The King was surprised at how much his wife's virtue meant to him.

"Exactly. Why would she marry in Rohan if she had a choice?"

Eomer's world was spinning. He was not overly concerned for Lothiriel because apart from the cold there was nothing that could really happen to her in Edoras but he was starting to understand how this marriage affected not only him. He had thought it was a private matter and obviously it was not. His people thought _him_ unworthy of Lothiriel unless there was some terrible flaw with her.

"She did not want to marry me, Eothain. She thought I would refuse her and she could go back to Dol Amroth."

"So she is not with child?"

"She might be now. "

"And you are sure she did not leave … on purpose."

"Yes, I am sure. Eothain. She would not need to escape, I gave her the choice to go if she so wished."

"Then… you did not lock her in your room for the past fortnight?"

"No! I never locked her anywhere. It was her choice not to come out for so long. "

"Forgive me, but when she came into the hall today we all thought she had … well… escaped."

"And you think that if I locked her and she managed to get out she would be stupid enough to come looking for me ?"

"I didn't think of that. But you did drag her back to your chambers."

" I dragged her back to … be alone behind a closed door."

Eothain was frowning.

"What?" Eomer asked confused.

"You… punished her?"

" Bema! Have you ever known me to hit a woman?"

" No, but …"

" But what?!"

" Eyes are everywhere and they are constantly on you. There was talk that you argued in the hall, she slapped you and then you took her back to the chambers and … well, yes, beat her ."

"Bema ! Yes, we argued and she slapped me but I took her to the chambers to bed her ! She came willingly and it was anything but punishment!"

Now the Captain was smiling.

"Ah … making amends in that way is indeed rather …releasing."

"Are you mocking me now?"

"No, no … I am just relieved. The Queen did not seem that warm towards you. There's talk of how you went riding on your wedding night so everyone thought it did not go very well."

"It didn't. That night was nothing I want to remember. I was horrible to her. "

"I'm sure you exaggerate. She would not put on that summerish dress and come looking for you if she didn't want your attention."

"Summerish dress?" Eomer remembered the clumsy tied ribbons and now it made sense to him. The grin was back for a moment before frowning at his Captain.

"One could not stop noticing ." Eothain excused himself .

"I don't mind."

"It looks like you do. I've never seen your possessive side."

"I'm not possessive, I just did not think that men could think about her that way."

"She is young and not at all bad looking. "

"Yes , but she's …"  
"Yours. Only yours. I don't think that has ever been the case with your bed mates."

"She's not my bed mate, she's …"

"Your wife and our Queen."

"Stop finishing my sentences, I know exactly what I want to say. And I know who and what she is; I just don't know _her_ at all. And I don't understand her."

"What do you plan to do with her?"

"When we find her?"

"I can guess what you plan for when we find her, I meant more in the long run."

"I have no plan. She has been taking me by surprise since she came here."

"She must have had some surprises as well since you say she did not actually expect to be married to you. No wonder your wedding night went awry. "

"What is that supposed to mean?!"

"You were visibly angry. Very angry. You looked at her like you were looking at Grima some time ago when he had taken over Meduseld. We all thought you would tear her head off when left alone with her. And she did not seem very happy either so odds were you two would not end up in a romantic entanglement, so to speak."

"I still can't believe I'm in this situation … stuck for the rest of my life with a Gondorian spoilt princess who hates my guts and behaves as if I am her undignified servant."

" And still you want to find her."

"What else could I do? I can't let her freeze to death … she is my responsibility."

"I doubt she hates your guts, Eomer. "

"She doesn't love me either."

"Would you want her to?"

"I don't really care. I just wish she would not infuriate me so much every time she comes near me."

"Why do you think she does that?"

"Because she's angry and doesn't have anybody else to take it out on. I suppose she thinks she married below her status."

"You are King, she was a Princess. This marriage made her a Queen."

"Queen of what she sees as a barbarian country."

"I wonder what could have given her that impression since you are the only Rohir she knows." Eothain jested and earned a deep frown from his ruler.

"I suppose I haven't exactly been chivalrous to her. But she's just … insane. I think she wants me to be nasty to her so she can hate me. "

" That dress she had on today did not ask for your bad nature and you know it."

"The dress didn't but her smart mouth … you have no idea how infuriating she can be."

"So don't let her speak. "

"Are you suggesting I gag her?"

"I was thinking about you kissing her but now I understand why she would think you are barbaric."

"I can't have my lips on hers every moment I am with her."

"Just do it until she forgets she is angry with you. I know I don't have to teach you how to make a woman forget herself ; you are Rohan's champion at that."

"You are mocking me again."

"A little maybe. But I mean it , you can charm her especially since she is obviously making an effort to be appealing to you."

"I'm not sure why she did that."

" Really, Eomer? What possible reason could she have had in mind?!"

" I know why but I don't know what for."

Eothain was looking at his King with a raised eyebrow.

"Wow! She must have slapped you so hard something happened to your head. "

"You are starting to aggravate me." Eomer said in a playful voice. " I know she was trying to seduce me in her own clumsy way but I do not know why she would do that. "

"Because she wants you ! Whatever fights you had and whatever horrible things you think you did to her, she obviously liked them. "

The King knew it wasn't exactly so since she said she wanted him when her body really didn't but that was already too much detail to discuss even with his best friend so he just smiled.

"Milord!" Aest came running towards them before they reached the stables . "We found her. I think she slipped and hurt her leg. She can't get up."

"Well, get her inside!" Eomer shouted, relieved that she was found yet surprisingly upset that she was hurt.

"We can't , Milord. Glig tried to pick her up but she scratched him and I think cursed both of us in her language…we did not want to hurt her."

Eomer started to laugh.

"That's Lothiriel. As long as she is scratching and cursing she can't be injured that badly."

Still, the King rushed to where his wife had fallen and when he approached he saw her fiercely looking at his young guard who was very intimidated.

"He was only trying to help you , Milady." Eomer said bending to pick up his wife. She put her arms around his neck without protest and he scooped her carefully looking at her face to see if she was in any pain. She seemed fine so he started walking back to Meduseld.

"I didn't think you'd come for me."

"I don't see why. I've been carrying you back inside ever since you arrived here." Eomer jested and Lothiriel couldn't help a smile.

"I have better attire this time too."

"I'm relieved you didn't go out in that flimsy dress from this morning. "

She frowned at him.

"It wasn't flimsy ! It's just warmer in Dol Amroth than it is here so my clothes are a little more …"

"Flimsy. I would kindly ask of you to get a new wardrobe since it is much colder here and your garments seem to earn a little too much appreciation from my men."

"You would not dare telling me what I can and cannot wear!"

"You'd be surprised what I would dare, Milady. I don't like men gaping at your cleavage and neither should you."

"So I should just cover myself from head to toe?"

"No, just show less of your skin. If your need is to be uncovered and gaped at I promise to do that in private."

" You are coarse ! Put me down right now, I'd rather crawl back to Meduseld" she said wiggling in his arms and hurting her injured leg.

"Stop that, the men are staring at us and I don't want more stories going around. "

"I don't care. I will not allow you to talk to me like that !"

" Like what?! "

"Like saying you want to see me … without clothes." While saying that Lothiriel wondered why she found it so outrageous. He was her husband after all .

He understood she was still rather shy about their intimacy but could not help whispering in her ear:

"I do want to see you naked and, trust me, my admiration for you in that state is very sincere."

She instantly blushed but could not deny she felt some pride over his words.

"Why do you do that?" she was pouting.

"Do what? "

"Embarrass me. You enjoy it."

"I like your blush but you should not be embarrassed about what we do. I'm not."

"Why would you ?!"

"Why are you?"

"Because you always have your way."

"Are you going to start with the rape accusations again?" his anger was building up.

"No, that is not what I meant."

"What did you mean then?"

"That it always is how you like it."

"Well I could have sworn you liked it too but since 'always' actually only means a couple of times so far , I promise you next time it will be as you like it – though I am not sure how you would know what you like."

"Are you accusing me of lying about my virtue?"

"No! Where did you get that from?"

"You didn't check the covers and now you say I might have some prior knowledge of … you know."

"I didn't check because I thought that would be embarrassing for you and there really wasn't any need. "

"Because you were married to me anyway?"

"Because I could feel your maidenhead break when it did. I was there, you know."

"You are…"

"Coarse, I know. But you asked so stop playing the shameful maiden."

"Are you saying I am shameless and…?"

Eomer waited with much interest to see how she would word that. When she didn't finish her question they were already inside Meduseld so the King turned to his men and said :

"The Queen and I thank you very much for your help and bid you good night."

They all bowed and went on their way, eager to share what they now knew.

There was no more doubt : the Queen had not tried to escape and the King very much wanted her by him unharmed. Why that was, they could not understand but all the stories about her being held captive and him occasionally beating her up for some prior sins did not make any sense. This was not a woman afraid of her husband and he held her all too carefully to ever want to harm her. Tales of how he carried her back and how they bickered like lovers went round Edoras that night – some true to reality, some not.

.


End file.
